By my count, every single human being knows someone who is too into running marathons. Medals. Instagram posts. And a t-shirt for running the same distance you ran before, but in a new city. It’s impressive. It is.
But I’m impressive too. And I need you to know that.
I may not be able to run 26.2 miles. I may not even be able to run 26.2 miles, cumulatively, over the course of a year. What I can do requires just as much endurance, focus, and determination.
I’m talking, of course, about how long I can go without changing the Brita filter. You might be saying “Chris, that sounds lazy. You can’t compare being lazy to running a marathon.” To which I say, I still fill up the pitcher instead of drinking straight from the faucet. How could that be lazy? I’m going the extra mile filling up that filter. And I’ve gone the extra mile at least 26.2 times.
Admittedly I sometimes lose momentum and add a Brita filter to my list when I go on a Target run. Once I’m at Target though, I remember I need to keep my eye on the prize, I get a second wind, and then completely forget to pick up a new filter. I just grab a throw pillow and a set of mason jars I don’t need. Then I head back to my apartment for a room temperature glass of potentially filtered water. I’ve earned it.
I’m realizing this is a weird conversation to have on our first date. But you did say you were running late and then the waiter dropped off those waters and I just kind of word associated my way to where we are now.
I’m very nervous. You look great.
Does this water taste off to you?